@PenguinUKBooks to extend their range of MEDIOCRE CLASSICS

Morrissey Mediocre

Following the success of Morrissey’s stunningly mundane ‘Autobiography’, Penguin Books have decided to release an entire range aimed exclusively at affluent, middle-aged, white people.

Richard Branson Mediocre

When questioned about the decision the overseer of the new Mediocre Classics range of titles, Sir Gideon Farquhar Ponsalot, said that: “Banal is the new Black.

Nigel Slater Mediocrity

Adding: “If Harry fucking Potter can be sold as adult literature then why can’t Morrissey be treated with the respect he so clearly deserves.”

Heston Blumenthal Mediocre

“People need to understand that the age of great literature is long dead. Even that cretin, Michael bloody Gove, recognises the fact that nothing decent has been published since 1871.”

Kirstie Allsopp Mediocrity

“Why not give the c-list celebrities a chance? It worked for ball room dancing!”

Dan Snow Mediocre

Don’t worry if you’re too tight to buy the Mediocre Classics range, each publication is bound to be serialised in The Telegraph or the Daily Mail by the end of the year.


9 thoughts on “@PenguinUKBooks to extend their range of MEDIOCRE CLASSICS

  1. Really- wheres his home in Britain?-Seeing as a High Court Order has awarded Mike Joyce a million pounds in Royalties against Morrissey from their time in The Smiths- it would be seized and sold.

    1. Sorry, not being a fan I went took what other people wrote at face value…

      “Sod Morrissey, a bitter, old hasbeen who a couple of years ago told the Guardian that “it’s a relief to feel relaxed in more places than just one” (he has homes in Los Angeles, Rome, Switzerland and Britain) and who called the Chinese a “subspecies” for their treatment of animals.”
      – Carole Cadwalladr ‘Morrissey You’re A Fraud’, Guardian Comment, 19 October, 2013.

      Guess I should check my facts next time.

  2. The Chinese are no more a ‘sub-species’ than any other. ALL Nations torture,enslave and murder Animals for profit or pleasure.

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